northern kentucky

Should You Talk to Your Parents About Downsizing Over the Holidays?

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Having the downsizing conversation is never easy for anyone involved. For both children and parents, it’s one more sign that the parents are aging, which is difficult to accept. One way to make it easier is to talk about it before the move becomes necessary. Ask your parents if they have thought about where they would go or what type of place they would like to live in next. Would it be a one-story condo near the water? Or a manageable apartment closer to you or one of your siblings? Laying this groundwork ahead of time gives everyone a chance to consider the options available before they have to become a reality.

Another way to make the talk go better is to be prepared. If you have siblings, ask them if they think it’s time. If not, really listen to their reasoning and see whether it changes your mind or not. If all of you aren’t on the same page, it may be best to wait and approach the subject later. Having one or more family members not on board before you even talk to your parent is not a good start.

Not only may you potentially be trying to convince your siblings and parents this is the right thing to do, you may be trying to convince yourself as well. People often feel guilty about bringing up the subject, even though they believe it will be better for their parents’ well-being. It also makes them face the fact that their parents are getting older and may soon be the ones needing help instead of the other way around. Take some time to deal with your own feelings so that you are ready to help your parent with theirs when you talk to them.

While you shouldn’t try to decide exactly where your parent should live before talking to them, you should think about some of the options that make the most sense to you. Do some research on several possibilities and even visit them if possible to make sure you still think they would be a good fit. There are so many choices when it comes to senior living nowadays that you’ll want to know what’s available and what they have to offer.

When you decide to talk with your parent, make sure you are completely vested in the conversation. Block out some time, go to your parents’ house, leave the kids at home, and focus entirely on the discussion. According to an article on caring.com,

      “One of the greatest challenges people in midlife face in their dealings with the elderly is to slow down       and find the time to be fully present. It's a mistake to discuss important issues on the fly, when you're         rushed and preoccupied. If you need to talk about something crucial with your parents, make a                     conscious effort to put your personal agenda aside -- along with your cell phone.”

Once you have given your full attention to the conversation, listen carefully to their responses. Remember that you are still the child and they are the parent. Don’t tell them what you think they have to do, talk about the options you have researched and answer their questions as best as you can. Talk about the benefits of a new place – if it’s smaller it’ll be easier to clean and maintain; in a condo there are fewer utility bills to worry about paying; in a 55-and-older community everyone is around the same age, making socializing easier; they provide transportation to the grocery store, doctor, and other outings so driving isn’t an issue. Offer to go see a few different places together, but respect your parents’ wishes if they don’t want to yet.

Being respectful of your parent’s feelings and offering to work together with them to find the right solution is a better approach than trying to take charge. Through open communication, you may both discover they’ve been wanting to move closer to you, or the upkeep of the current home is a burden, or staying in the place where a spouse or several neighbors no longer live is actually depressing. Then it’s time to take the next step. However, if that isn’t the case, don’t continue to push the subject until it becomes an argument. Allow some time for everyone to think it over and try again later to work together toward the right solution.

 

 

 

 

Why Using a Senior Move Manager Makes Sense

In our previous article, The Difference Between Downsizing and Moving, we discussed how downsizing can be more challenging than a regular move. Using a senior move manager who, unlike a traditional mover, is trained and equipped to deal with these challenges can make a difficult transition easier.

With the gentle and expert guidance of an experienced SMM, older adults and families make the tough decisions without the emotional and physical distress that can follow. As a result, older adults and their families avoid the costly mistakes and disputes that often accompany such major life transitions.

The job of a regular moving company is to get everything from Point A to Point B, and reputable movers do a great job of accomplishing this quickly and safely. Senior move managers (SMMs) don’t just move a person’s belongings from one place to another. They provide a multi-faceted approach to the move process, from space planning in the beginning to post-move support and advocacy. Their oversight minimizes the chaos and stress associated with moving by addressing all aspects of the move process. SMMs are responsible for creating and executing a seamless action plan, customized to the client’s wishes. 

 

When a senior move manager is tasked with packing up a home, they do not pack just pack everything in sight and relocate them to the new residence. They ensure items are packed and distributed according to the family’s wishes. Each item in the home is designated to be moved with the older adult, distributed to a family member, sold at auction, donated or discarded. The person who is relocating will find themselves in their new location only with the belongings they wanted to take, not whatever was in the house. The previous home is cleaned and ready to be sold or occupied by another family member.

Because most senior moves involve downsizing, SMMs assess the new space before any items are moved to ensure everything that is moved will fit and be functional. They generally do not move their clients’ possessions themselves, but they contract with movers they trust and have worked with before, and they oversee the entire move. Once everything has been relocated, senior move managers do not simply leave it all or just empty the boxes the regular moving company has transported, they do a full unpack and resettle, paying close attention to detail to make the new residence feel as much like home as possible, creating a better environment for the older adult’s physical and cognitive health. 

Estate sale or auction services offered by many senior move managers turn unwanted items into income that can offset the cost of the move. This additional service prevents family members from having to sell items online or at garage sales and gives them more time to spend with their loved ones. SMMs handle the sale and distribution of the items as well as the collection of the proceeds when the sale is complete.

Senior move managers become extended family to the older adult and their families as they help navigate the unfamiliar territory of downsizing and moving. They advocate on behalf of their clients when others can’t or won’t. As members of the business community, SMMs have a network of trusted experts they share with their clients, including realtors and elder care attorneys. They can also offer insight on local senior living options such as 55-and-older communities and assisted living facilities.

Using a senior move manager who is a member of the National Association of Senior Move Managers ensures not only that your belongings will be relocated, but that your move is being overseen by a qualified, caring, ethical individual who understands your situation and will make the best decisions for you and your family.

Breaking the Mold as a Female Auctioneer

reSettled Life Founder Becomes Only Female Licensed Auctioneer in Boone, Kenton County

Amy Wright completes training and earns her Principal Auctioneer License at Kentucky Auction Academy

To better serve her senior transition clients, Amy Wright of reSettled Life in Union, Kentucky wanted to offer auctions as one of her services. To do so required her to be an apprentice auctioneer for one year, work 10 auctions, complete 80 hours of training, and pass the principal auctioneer’s examination. Having completed all four, she earned her principal auctioneer license from the Kentucky Board of Auctioneers on November 10, 2016. She now joins the 182 other women who make up a very small percentage of the 2000 auctioneers currently licensed in Kentucky.

Wright is proud to be a part of this elite group of women, but that is not what drove her to get her license. “My being a licensed principal auctioneer allows reSettled Life to provide a complete service to our clients. Not only can we organize, pack, and unpack the belongings the senior wants to keep, we can also provide some additional income by auctioning many unwanted belongings rather than donating or discarding them.”

For the past year, Wright has been holding client auctions as an apprentice under a licensed auctioneer, but is happy to be able to do it on her own now. The majority of reSettled Life’s auctions are held online, although Wright is licensed to hold live auctions as well. Once the auction is complete, the company handles payment collection and distribution of sold items, giving clients more time to be with their families.

 About reSettled Life

 reSettled Life is a senior transition and auction company serving Northern Kentucky, Cincinnati and Southeast Indiana. They help families move loved ones from their homes into smaller homes, senior-friendly communities, or nursing facilities. Services include organizing, packing, unpacking, resettling, and auctions. Learn more at www.resettledlife.com.

 

 

 

 

Should You Talk to Your Parents About Downsizing Over the Holidays?

postcard.jpg

Having the downsizing conversation is never easy for anyone involved. For both children and parents, it’s one more sign that the parents are aging, which is difficult to accept. One way to make it easier is to talk about it before the move becomes necessary. Ask your parents if they have thought about where they would go or what type of place they would like to live in next. Would it be a one-story condo near the water? Or a manageable apartment closer to you or one of your siblings? Laying this groundwork ahead of time gives everyone a chance to consider the options available before they have to become a reality.

Another way to make the talk go better is to be prepared. If you have siblings, ask them if they think it’s time. If not, really listen to their reasoning and see whether it changes your mind or not. If all of you aren’t on the same page, it may be best to wait and approach the subject later. Having one or more family members not on board before you even talk to your parent is not a good start.

Not only may you potentially be trying to convince your siblings and parents this is the right thing to do, you may be trying to convince yourself as well. People often feel guilty about bringing up the subject, even though they believe it will be better for their parents’ well-being. It also makes them face the fact that their parents are getting older and may soon be the ones needing help instead of the other way around. Take some time to deal with your own feelings so that you are ready to help your parent with theirs when you talk to them.

While you shouldn’t try to decide exactly where your parent should live before talking to them, you should think about some of the options that make the most sense to you. Do some research on several possibilities and even visit them if possible to make sure you still think they would be a good fit. There are so many choices when it comes to senior living nowadays that you’ll want to know what’s available and what they have to offer.

When you decide to talk with your parent, make sure you are completely vested in the conversation. Block out some time, go to your parents’ house, leave the kids at home, and focus entirely on the discussion. According to an article on caring.com,

      “One of the greatest challenges people in midlife face in their dealings with the elderly is to slow down       and find the time to be fully present. It's a mistake to discuss important issues on the fly, when you're         rushed and preoccupied. If you need to talk about something crucial with your parents, make a                     conscious effort to put your personal agenda aside -- along with your cell phone.”

Once you have given your full attention to the conversation, listen carefully to their responses. Remember that you are still the child and they are the parent. Don’t tell them what you think they have to do, talk about the options you have researched and answer their questions as best as you can. Talk about the benefits of a new place – if it’s smaller it’ll be easier to clean and maintain; in a condo there are fewer utility bills to worry about paying; in a 55-and-older community everyone is around the same age, making socializing easier; they provide transportation to the grocery store, doctor, and other outings so driving isn’t an issue. Offer to go see a few different places together, but respect your parents’ wishes if they don’t want to yet.

Being respectful of your parent’s feelings and offering to work together with them to find the right solution is a better approach than trying to take charge. Through open communication, you may both discover they’ve been wanting to move closer to you, or the upkeep of the current home is a burden, or staying in the place where a spouse or several neighbors no longer live is actually depressing. Then it’s time to take the next step. However, if that isn’t the case, don’t continue to push the subject until it becomes an argument. Allow some time for everyone to think it over and try again later to work together toward the right solution.

 

 

 

 

How to Avoid 3 Common Senior Moving Scams

It’s hard to believe there are people low enough to prey on seniors who are moving from their family home out of necessity, but there are. In addition to dealing with the stress of sorting through belongings and moving to a new place, seniors also need to stay alert for those trying to take advantage of or steal from them. Here are a few of the most frequent scams:

Mover Scam

There are two very common moving scams today. The first involves a moving company giving you a quote, picking up your items, then refusing to deliver your items until you pay a lot more than you were told. The second involves the moving company requiring an up-front deposit, then not showing up for the move.

How to avoid it – Do your homework to make sure the company you are hiring is reputable. The easiest way to find someone you can trust is to get referrals from friends and family members who have used them. If this isn’t an option, ask companies for their business license numbers and confirm they are still active. Check with the Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration, the government body that oversees moving companies, for complaints against the company. Not wanting to take inventory in person before giving you a quote, not being willing to give you anything in writing, or requiring you to pay in cash are all red flags, and you should continue your search.

Senior Transition Scam

It’s no secret that the U.S. population is getting older, making senior services a popular business. And while the majority of senior transition companies are legit, there are some that aren’t. Fraudulent companies may try to overcharge you, may steal items while they are packing, or offer to buy your belongings at a fraction of their value.

How to avoid it – The National Association of Senior Move Managers (NASMM) is a professional group dedicated to making senior transitions easier for everyone involved. Make sure the companies you are considering are members. Ask for proof of their liability insurance and workers compensation coverage, and get estimates and contracts in writing. As with movers, senior transition companies will also have a business license, so check to make sure they are still active. Just because a company has a website does not mean they are legit.

Home Repair Scam

Home repair scams can happen at any time, even when you are selling a home or buying a new one. Scammers may see the for sale sign in your yard and try to convince you to hire them for repairs that supposedly will make your house sell faster or for a higher price. They may tell you that you need unnecessary repairs or appliances, like a water softener, when you move into your new place. Or they may ask to look inside your home to give you home repair suggestions when they are actually looking to see if you have anything worth coming back to steal.

How to avoid it – If your home does require repairs, ask for referrals from friends or family members. Never hire someone who knocks on your door and suggests repairs without getting a second opinion or doing an extensive background check on them. Don’t ever let anyone into your home, even if they are wearing a company uniform, unless you have made an appointment and are expecting them. And never pay up front for the entire cost of a repair, because chances are you will never see them again.

No one needs one more thing on their to-do list when they’re in the process of relocating, but taking these few precautions could protect you from scammers and save you money in the long run.

The Difference Between Downsizing and Moving

Your parents moved you when you were a kid. You moved into a dorm and various apartments during college. You moved when you graduated, when you got married, and when you took an out-of-town job transfer. Throughout the years, you have become a moving machine. Surely your next move – downsizing – will be the same as all the others.

Unfortunately, that isn’t the case. No matter how many moves you have made throughout your lifetime, downsizing is different. Here’s why:

It may not be happening for a happy reason – In our business, the majority of people that we’re helping downsize are doing it because they need to. Maybe they’ve lost a spouse and can’t take care of the home by themselves, maybe they can no longer manage the stairs to the bedroom or bathroom, or maybe they’ve become unable to live alone. Whatever the reason, feeling like you’re moving because you have to not because you want to is very different and can be a very emotional experience.

You can’t take everything – Oftentimes, you move from one size place to a similar sized or even larger one, so you can take everything with you.  When you downsize, you move to a smaller space than you currently have, which means you will need to downsize your belongings as well. Parting with items that you have owned for decades or have sentimental value can be difficult.

It’s hard to get rid of everything you aren’t taking – Rather than finding a new spot for everything in your new home, you’ll need to find places for those items you decided not to keep. Your family members may want some items, but don’t count on them to take everything. (see Making Your Memorabilia a Gift, Not a Burden blog ). Selling items through yard sales or online can be time-consuming and cause you to deal with strangers trying to talk you down on prices, which can be uncomfortable and less profitable. Donating is always a good way to rid yourself of unwanted items because they will be going to someone else who can use them, but some organizations won’t take certain things or will not come pick anything up.

This downsize is permanent – You may have temporarily downsized before in your lifetime, either from your parents’ home to a dorm room, or maybe to live in a downtown apartment or overseas for a year. But your belongings were waiting for you when you returned. This type of downsize is normally permanent, so unless you have family members willing to house your overflow, whatever doesn’t fit in your smaller space will no longer be yours.

Fortunately, there is someone who can help make downsizing at least a little easier. Here’s how:

Inventory and Sorting– Our team inventories and sorts homes to be downsized to help make the decision on what you want to take and what you don’t. Sometimes just having someone to help you figure out what you can live without and what you can’t will enable you to not feel so overwhelmed with the downsize and move.

Floorplan Comparison – When we’re helping someone downsize, we use the floorplan of the new space to determine what can be kept and what won’t fit. We can show you different layouts that include certain things in one layout, and different things in another, allowing you to choose which will work best for you.

Unwanted Items – After you have decided what you’re keeping and what your friends and family members want, we can take care of the rest. We hold online auctions for clients on a regular basis. We handle all aspects of the process from cataloging and photographing, taking care of payments, and handling the pick-ups. We’ll also arrange for items that aren’t sold to be donated or removed.

Downsizing can be much more stressful than a regular move, but it doesn’t have to be. Let reSettled Life help you get from Point A to a smaller and more manageable Point B.

 

 

 

The Cats Are Moving Too

Not all of our senior moves are for our senior residents, sometimes they also involve their favorite four-legged companions and those can come with some challenges of their own. We had the privilege of helping Ms. W make a transition from one independent senior community to another across town and needed to make sure we also included her two furry friends that would be making the move with her. 

Our team took a Friday afternoon to pack up Ms. W's belongings, leaving out items she would need over the weekend. We wanted to get as many of her personal items carefully packed to ensure that her new residence would feel like home right away. On Monday morning we arrived to meet the movers and oversee the move day. The decision was made that Ms. W's daughter would transport her beloved felines, following along with a reSettled Life policy, and we would make sure everything else was loaded on the moving truck and delivered to her new senior community. Although the cats ended up being a little more difficult to wrangle than we had originally thought, they were eventually secured and made their way to their new home ahead of Ms. W. 

Our reSettling process was a smooth one, as we loaded Ms. W new home with all of her favorite things, making sure to place those items in the same location they were at her previous residence and hanging every family picture and heirloom that she had on her walls around her room. Her furry friends stayed put in the bathroom, to become more acclimated with their new surroundings, and were ready to roam freely by the time we had finished up. When we had every box unpacked and removed from the room, every picture hung and cabinet filled, we said our goodbyes. We left Ms. W with a huge smile on her face and a sense of relief that the overwhelming move was complete and had not been as stressful as she thought it would be. Knowing we had a happy senior client, already settled in her brand new home, gave us a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, which meant we were able to leave with a smile!